Love languages are specific ways to express and recieve love. Many people have a different love language than their partner. Sometimes, this can cause frustration and disappointment.
If you haven't before, take the love language quiz here to find out what yours is! (Ask your partner to take the quiz as well.)
Love languages are so important because if you think your partner enjoys acts of service, you might be washing their car and doing their laundry, when what they really want is for you to think of them when you are at the store, and pick up their favorite candy bar (gifts).
This could also look like telling your partner how proud you are of them, and that they are so attractive to you (words of affirmation), but what they really want is a hug and a kiss (physical touch)!
Of course it would be great if we all knew and communicated the ways we want to be loved--none of us can read minds! But sometimes we don't even know what our love language is or how to communicate what we need.
Taking the quiz is a great place to start!
Have an open conversation with your partner about what they do that makes you feel really happy and loved. That might sound like, "I really love it when you spend time hanging out with me, even if we are just watching the #ParisOlymics or a silly #youtube video together" (quality time).
Or "It means a lot to me when you cook me dinner (acts of service)."
Studies show that telling people something they do really well, usually makes them want to do it more!
As always if you need extra support couples therapy is a great place to reconnect and practice skills. Book a free consultation with me to see if we are a good fit!
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